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Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Dear Abby....

....dear Abby, You won't believe this: My stomach makes noises whenever I kiss.   John Prine 

So, I was reading the news the other day and I came across the advice column.  A woman had written in to complain that her marriage was sexless.  She said was not attracted to her husband, never had been.   She explained the reason she married him the  first place was sort of because everyone else liked him and it seemed like a good idea at the time.  Now she's wondering if perhaps there's something more that she's missing.  Well, DUH!

Stuff like this just blows me away when I read it or hear about it.  

I have a friend who dated a very attractive young lady many moons ago.  He was a dashing fellow himself.  Blue eyes, curly brown hair, natural athlete with a perfectly proportioned physique.  Personality abundant, he's the type of person that I would be pleased to have my daughters bring home.  He confided in me that this particular young lady would never let him touch her.  Apparently her mother had her convinced that sex was disgusting and painful.  "When your time comes, you'll have to lay there and take it.  It's your duty."    

Flash forward a decade, another friend, this one a female. Petite, blonde, cute as can be.  She told me that her marriage had been without physical affection for almost the entire length of it's nine years.  I told her that, if I were I a single man, I'd be wanting to lick her all over like a postage stamp and paste her on my forehead.  


I may be peculiar, but a loveless marriage is downright perversion.