A crowd of people turned away....

.......but I just had to look, having read the book.

I found a reference to this book and film some time ago on Mistress 160's Abode.  She's an Auzie. The subject of her prolific blog is her life and times with Sol, her sub.  She wrote a poignant piece about this film and it's premise.

I've not seen the film, but I did buy the book.  It's well written, and touches on a theme that has been part of my fantasy life for years, even before I had any inkling that sex or sadomasochism or any such thing existed.

When I was a lad, I oftentimes escaped into my head where I was taken captive by a group of girls.  Always bigger, stronger and many, I was at their mercy.  One thing missing from this story that was always present in my imagination was caring.  Yes, I was beaten and tormented, but there was always one who protected me, loved me and cared for me.

Revelation is about rape.  Despicable thing that it is.

The women in this story abduct and abuse the main character, then discard him.  He was a professional dancer. After the incident he finds himself unable to pursue his craft.  He's left to deal with the aftermath on his own.

In the end, I believe he does heal, though the book is a bit of a cliff hanger in that it ends at the beginning of his coming to grips with the reality of what happened to him.  Following a lengthy, years long and fruitless search, his life is approaching some semblance of normalcy when he happens upon one of his captors quite by accident.  The reader can't be certain that she's one of the culprits, but I'd bet money she's guilty based upon her behavior when when he confronts her.  He's subsequently arrested for accosting her.  It is at that is the point  he begins to reveal what happened to him.

I once had a girl....

....or should I say, she once had me? I had a girlfriend when I was in college who seemed to be a great fit.

A grad student, she was three years older than me. She had a younger brother whom she had dressed in skirts when they were kids. Her description of their relationship sounded much as mine with my older sister. She was the boss.

We dated for awhile, I was as attentive as I could be. Did her nails, massaged every bit of her that she wanted rubbing. 

One night while I was giving her a back rub I put forth the idea that I would like to belong to her, to be her slave. I'd been dropping little hints for awhile.  She said nothing at first, I prompted her, asking:"What do you think?". She rolled over onto her back, clasped her hands behind her head, smiled at me and said: "What do I think? I think you should get down on your knees and kiss my feet, that's what I think." 

So it began. She used to spank me with a wooden spoon, sometimes a belt. She seemed to relish telling our friends that she was the dominant one, ordering me around while they were there, remarking that I was becoming 'well trained'. She'd teasingly threaten to expose me, sometimes asking out loud in the presence of others if she was going to have to get her spoon. Once wrestling with me, trying to pull off my socks to show that my toenails were polished to match hers.

So it was for almost four years. We lived together for a short while. As time went on she was increasingly critical of me. I could do nothing right. I was damned no matter what. Got in trouble once for pulling a kleenex out of the box wrong. The box had moved a little so it was no longer paralell with the wall. She loved cunnilingus but thought I was disgusting for doing it. Crazy shit like that. In the end it was a very bitter breakup. She said terrible, hateful things. I suppose it was because she was in anguish as well. I was absolutely devastated. Lost 20lbs. I couldn't bear to see a couple holding hands because I felt that intimacy was something I'd never have. Time went by. I went to grad school. I dated a little, kept my sectrets, got burned a couple of times. Once was stood up for a date. (Why bother, just say no if you don't want to go out with me.) In grad school I met two wonderful women. They were both employed in the department. Both married with kids. They befreinded me, took me under their wing, gave me love and respect. Put me in my place when they thought it necessary. Really renewed my faith in mankind and showed me that not all women were stark raving lunatics as experience had previously taught.

MASH

The first mainstream kink I recall was that of Major Margaret Hoolihan on MASH.  I was just a boy, and I had no idea really that anyone but me was interested in such stuff.

Two episodes that come to mind:

1. Margaret recieves a package from her betrothed, Donald Penobscott, who we never see on the show by the way.  She's excited to open it and is thrilled when she does exclaiming: "Oh, Donald knows how much I enjoy fine leather." This as she pulls out and cracks a bull whip.

2. Frank Burns, ever Margaret's wimp, has committed some transgression. The entire MASH crew is in the surgical unit as Frank pleads forgivness accross a patient.  Margaret is steadfast in her refusal to grant clemency despite Frank's desperate pleas.  "Please Margaret, I'll do anything!"  "I'll kiss your feet.!"  To this Mararet's reply is a stern look and a time to meet in her tent.

I clearly recall being stunned.  What? What was that she said?  Can I hear that again?

Oh, and isn't she lovely?

A picture is worth a thousand words......

Women's Health

There is an interesting article in this month's edition of Women's Health magazine exploring the changing roles of men and women in society. I got my wife a subscription., mostly because I want her to take care of herself and I'd like to keep her around for the duration. Perhaps she'll even outlive me, who knows.
She bought Men's Health for me a few years back. The editor is a bit misguided. The mag is overall a good thing.

My comment on the article is that the Alpha male is not dead. Just because I'm submissive to a woman doesn't mean that I'll let just anybody have their way. We're still here. Ready, willing and able.

Loss

I always feel for folks who didn't have a good relationship with their father. I have several friends and acquaintances whose fathers died young, or were bastards, or were just not in the picture. I cannot imagine.

I lost my dad a year ago March. We were very close. My sister pointed out to me that he would stand up for me and with me no matter what. She said" "You were the light of his life from the day you were born until he took his last breath." And that's how it was.

We didn't plan that, nor contrive to make it happen. It just was.

It's particularly difficult, for me anyhow, to lose a person like my father, who loved me so dearly. How do you go on? I have been, but life has been throwing up additional obstacles for me, making the going tough. A selfish older brother who really does nothing but for himself, a nearly untenable job change. ( I really have to get something going on here!) Mother is mentally sharp, but physically infirm and hoping to die so she can be with dad. So, this does not beg a comment. Just my thought for the day.

For those who read this, I hope you had loving parents who thought that the best thing in the world was to spend time with you. I did. I make a point to tell my girls that there is nothing that brings me greater happiness than to be with them.

Nosce te ipsum

The Ancient Greek aphorism "Know yourself", Greek: γνῶθι σεαυτόν gnōthi seauton (also ... σαυτόν ... sauton with the ε contracted), was inscribed in the pronaos (forecourt) of the Temple of Apollo at Delphi - according to the Greek periegetic (travelogue) writer Pausanias (10.24.1).
The aphorism has been attributed to at least six ancient Greek sages:
Chilon of Sparta (Chilon I 63, 25)
Heraclitus
Pythagoras
Socrates
Solon of Athens
Thales of Miletus
Other sources attribute it to Phemonoe, a mythical Greek poetess. In a discussion of moderation and self-awareness, the Roman poet Juvenal quotes the phrase in Greek and states that the precept descended de caelo (from heaven) (Satire 11.27).
The saying "Know thyself" may refer by extension to the ideal of understanding human behavior, morals, and thought, because ultimately to understand oneself is to understand other humans as well. However, the ancient Greek philosophers thought that no man can ever comprehend the human spirit and thought thoroughly, so it would have been almost inconceivable to know oneself fully. Therefore, the saying may refer to a less ambitious ideal, such as knowing one's own habits, morals, temperament, ability to control anger, and other aspects of human behavior that we struggle with on a daily basis.
It may also have a mystical interpretation. 'Thyself', is not meant in reference to the egotist, but the ego within self, the I AM consciousness.
In Latin, the aphorism is generally given as nosce te ipsum. The Latin version of the aphorism is written on a plaque above the Oracle's door in the Matrix film series, where it is rendered in a non-traditional Latin; that is to say temet nosce ("thine own self thou must know") translated in the Matrix as know thyself.
In the true theological sense, "Know Thyself" is a fundamental tenet of the question of life's meaning. To truly 'know oneself' in this sense involves a deeply personal, spiritual transformation whereby a person would seek to orient themselves towards understanding their own phenomenological perceptions of reality, so as to gain earnest insight into aspects of one's own existence. Thus the theological sense of "Know Thyself" entails an experiential revolution of spirit in the sense of the Socratic periagoge

I post this as it never ceases to amaze me the number of people I encounter who really seem to have no idea who they are. Not that I'm the prince of knowing myself, but I do try.

Most telling are the perceptions of others. What do other people, those who know you, say about you?

I am a social animal. I like to have lots of folks around all the time. We connect, talk to one another and see just what's what.

So, anyone who reads my posts. Please share a thought won't you?